Hi, my name is Andrew and welcome to my DateMe Doc.

Me & You

Table About Me & You
Fact Type Me You (probably)
Age 32 - 8.2*(1.05+exp(0.8*(yearAD-2030)))^-1) + 6 (*) myAge±myAgemyAge \pm \sqrt{myAge} (approximately, I don’t care much)
Sex Male Female
Seeking Female life-partner, who does not want children (>95% sure) Male life-partner, no children
Origin North-East of England Somewhere on Earth
Location South-West of England (but flexible within the UK) Mostly in the UK
Language English (but I expect you know that) and R English (but I expect you know that)
Interests Quite a few, see below Have at least one passion
Patience Lots Enough to tolerate spending your life with a strongly-neutral, quirky person
Job Sports Statistician Not necessarily
Religion Atheist (for all practical purposes) Anything that isn’t too extreme

My Interests

Table About My Interests
Interest Index Interest
Interest1Interest_{1} (Applied) Mathematics (recreationally)
Interest2Interest_{2} Sport (encompassing many sports)
Interest3Interest_{3} Making the world a better/happier place
Interest4Interest_{4} Understanding the world
Interest5Interest_{5} Music
Interest6Interest_{6} Comedy
InterestMeanInterest_{Mean} Reading something on the internet
InterestMedianInterest_{Median} Winning another debate on whether indexes should begin with 0 or 1
InterestModeInterest_{Mode} Walking
Interest∞Interest_{\infty} Making the world a worse place
Interest−NInterest_{-N} Deflation
Interest−∞Interest_{-\infty} Smoking
Interest1+2iInterest_{1+2i} Speaking about relationships - a complex topic

Ideal Day

Wake up refreshed. Walk to work. Do some work. Go for a walk at a pleasant temperature with soft clouds and a stiff breeze. Eat some nice unhealthy food. Watch some football. Call with family. Have quiet time alone with a partner listening to their day/conversation, and focussing on pleasing them. Get a good night’s sleep to repeat the day again.

Quirks

I have several, but none strike me as particularly odd and none that would pick me out from a crowd as especially weird. I dress very plainly. I act generally quite quiet and speak softly unless it’s on a topic of interest. I live pretty minimalistically (ironic that the word for it is that long!).

Reviews

I don’t know what you (reader/future-partner) are looking for in life-partners. I also cannot comment on what living with myself or just being around me is like without sounding biased, so I asked those who know me best and put their answers in the below table. They are all happy to give more details on request. I had no influence in what they said other than setting 3 rough categories and a character limit - I forbade myself from editing. They all submitted these independently of each other (to my knowledge) and they all came at it from their own unique relationships/histories with me. All information is accurate (in their opinion) at the time of their review (c. October 2025). All I consider to be at least good friends who I have immense trust in (although one slightly less now I’ve seen their review! 😆), but they probably like me too much and are therefore too positive.

Reviews Table

Table of Reviews
Sex Years Known Connection Years Lived With Positive Negative Quirk
Female 11 University friend/flatmate (Former unrequited love of mine) 3 Learning lots and always having company - you read a lot and know a lot about random things, so conversation was very interesting. I definitely learnt more about darts! It’s hard to be lonely living with you, because you’re always down for a chat and are mostly very cheery (and if not, there is a good reason why). Similarly, you’re always down to go and do random things like visiting all the places on the Oxford Cluedo board. And you’d offer to cook if I’d had a long day which was lovely. Occasionally too much maths chat (taking it beyond what I could understand so it got a bit boring). And sometimes you asked general questions about intimate topics, which I often didn’t mind, but sometimes found awkward. Occasional piano music wafting around - you’re an excellent and humble pianist. And you emitted other noises such as strong reactions to darts/football which were sweet. Oh, and you didn’t require much storage space, since you cycled through a relatively limited wardrobe and were otherwise fairly minimalist!
Female 11 University friend/colleague/flatmate 1
  • Positive of living with you - organised, tidy, routines, easy to coexist alongside
  • Positive of spending time with you - knowledgeable about a wide range of interesting topics, can provide a different way of looking at things
  • Negative of living with you - limited cooking / meal options, somewhat white / beige decorating (this may not be up to date)
  • Negative of spending time with you - collective indecisiveness (this goes both ways 😂)
 Quirk / Unusual - relcutance to share your birthday (I don’t particularly celebrate but will share when needed), you sit in the slightly odd space of being stuck on your habits but also willingly to try new things, maintained passions for your whole life, always looking to learn new things (youtube dives), maintained an up to date interest in Maths - hard to know what to put here.
Male 7 Colleague (housemate during Covid lockdowns) 0.75 Review Incoming Watch this space
Female + Male 7 + 6 Colleagues (both former-lodgers, married to each other) 0.25 + 0.25
  • Makes you feel welcome
  • Respects space + boundaries
  • Happy to match vibes on levels of social interaction
  • Pragmatic to a fault:
    • will keep house + lifestyle in exactly the optimal state for comfortable living
 Once wrote to the producers of custard cream spread to express discontent at discontinuation (rephrased as “shows character trait of unusually strongly held opinions about certain specific things”, which might be more useful than the anecdote)
Male + Female 4 + 3 Colleague + Colleague's partner (both former-lodgers) 1.5 + 1
  • Exceptionally laid-back and at-ease with what happens
  • Polite and easy-going (sometimes to a fault)
  • Stop being so damn considerate all the time (sometimes borders on frustrating)
  • Finds it hard to accept gifts/offers of things (run several miles rather than accept a lift)
 So many instances of quirks (‘Andrew-ism’), not sure where to start:

  • Distaste for strong flavours and homedecorating
  • Make a sandwich by bringing the whole bag, making it as you go
  • Likes white bread a lot, more than the average person
Male 2 Colleague (former-lodger) 1 Maths chat and interesting random chats are a positive. Got a very comfortable carpet and the sofa too. Parking’s good, and has Sky Sports Golf! Chairs aren’t comfortable, and you need a special technique for opening the door. One time a parcel was delivered for the neighbour and you didn’t realise the whole weekend - unawareness, at times you’re in your own world (but being able to focus deeply is a good thing) Definitely diet: there’s a lot of sugar and not much else.
Female 0.5 Former Dating Interest 0.01
  • Honest when it comes to dating. He really is trying to give you the best sense of what he’s like so both you and he can make a good call
  • Strongly defined. He’s clear about what he knows he likes and can tell you all about it and why, with fun puzzles to solve along the way. That said
  • Open to talking about anything I’m interested in. I’ve brought up and sent all sorts of entirely unrelated things his way (some of our interests/thoughts align, many differ) and he always has interesting things to ask/say/contribute and seems to have fun doing so
  • Seems generally content, which is really nice to be around. Long walks in company are fun.
  • Thoughtfully proactive: He’ll plan stuff, send you the potential details and check in to see if you’re up for it, pick up little things for you, checks in if you need anything etc.
  • Emotional response to you can be unclear/hard to read in person, and is expressed through writing (where to be fair, it is clear). The disparity between in person and writing can be pretty confusing and takes a while to get used to
  • Sexual attraction to you also harder to gauge if not explicitly brought up
  • Less focus in general on the arts/conventional fun/aesthetically pleasing/hedonistic side of life (this one may be most personal-to-me: I happen to think a more balance is nice for a whole host of reasons)
 He washes his weetabix. With water. In the sink. And then eats it just like that. He claims he “just rinses it” or something to this degree (can’t recall the exact phrasing), but I’m not certain this is much better. On the bright side, he did this with no shame one of the first times he came to my house, and was (and remains) entirely unapologetic about it. If you are going to be the kind of man who does this, leaning in is probably good =).

Images

I try to avoid being photographed as best I can, so a representative sample is not possible. I detest wearing suits, but black & white is fine.

Pictures of me walking, acting, and laughingPictures of me walking, acting, and laughingPictures of me walking, acting, and laughing

Suitability

As is hopefully obvious to most readers of this document, the population size of those who want to date me is small (but crucially non-zero). If that’s not you but you would like to message me out of general interest/friendship/matchmaking-with-someone-else purposes, I’m all ears. I can share a semi-secret personal blog if you would like to read more of my musings.

Action

If enough of this sounds like it’s up your street, then feel free to contact me at AndrewEADateMe@gmail.com with any questions, a funny dad-joke, and/or any relevant details/links about yourself and we can take it from there.

Disclaimer(s)

I may have given a slightly misleading impression of how mathematically minded I am in the “My Interests” table for comedic purposes. I basically find almost any topic that requires thinking to be interesting and worth discussing. But I cannot hide that I am an enthusiastically mathematical person and this was my best way of making that very clear and filtering out people who might find that off-putting.

(*): If you scrolled to the end (thank you!), then I expect you’re sufficiently interested but non-mathematical 1, so to be clear I’ll probably be in my early 30s when you’re reading this. If this statement is incorrect then it’s probably safe to say hardly anyone is reading this by then and/or I might have forgotten I have made this document or not bothered to exhaustively debug all dates.

  1. Or mathematical-enough to work it out yet mildly lazy, which is fine by me - the best maths is motivated by lethargy! I did consider writing some Javascript to dynamically change the document based on the current date, but I’m definitely too lazy for that.↩︎